Addictive Joy

It’s been years, since I saw that smile again,
Though only an image, I still cannot restrain,
From wondering, how little has actually changed,
About the feelings, that your smile engaged.

Though in the mind, the vision is always there,
The eyes aren’t satisfied, with an image back somewhere,
They are starving to see it, with their own eyes,
And that still tells me, how slowly our time flies.

To them, you are the raindrop, that broke away,
From the cloud, to quench them, falling this way,
Within them, forever they wish, you would stay,
The mind, it’s jealous, it always makes them stray.

I have never seen it, ever leaving your face,
And never want to, even if only a passing phase,
And each time, the twinkle it leaves in your eye,
That’s just enough, to bid all agonies goodbye.

Seeing it, my overcome tears, always run back,
And a reluctant sorrow, turns its stubborn back,
My mind has only, to hear that laughter’s tinkle,
And it irons out, my every frown’s wrinkle.

Were times I wished, I could touch your laughter,
Feel it and hold it, for now and ever after,
Hold it before my thirsty eyes, and just stare,
Till the moment I have, not a breath to spare.

Felt content, watching those pearls, drop from your lips,
And when I tried, to hold them by my fingertips,
They just dissolved, melting themselves into me,
Flowing in like a joy, the happiest I could ever be.

Try as much, I can’t and don’t, want to let go,
And therefore keep being swept away, by its flow,
For those who feel, life has more sorrow than joy,
They have not yet tasted your smile, and its addictive joy.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--After more than two years, yesterday, I saw a photo of Aparna Reddy(Reddy no longer) on her Orkut profile, and checked out her blog. The first wave of nostalgia hit me, the moment I saw that photo, that smile it could still captivate, not that I doubted it for a moment, but the very idea being proved to my eyes still spellbound me enough to write about it, and those days when I used to submit the exam paper in 1 hour to sit and stare at her for 2 hours, and write "Searching For You" while at it.Still can't guess what game God was trying to play on me, by making such a smile, and showing it to me for two years and then keeping it etched on my memory, trying to have fun, seeing me wrestling with it.

Immediately I felt I had to write my feeling, I had to record this nostalgia. I couldn't sleep for the whole night yesterday, fighting with myself to finish the poem first and then sleep, but ultimately my laziness won. Not for long, today morning, the moment I woke up, the feeling started tormenting me again, and so I decide not to push my luck anymore and got down to this. Wish I could spend all my days just looking at her smiling, would make me prefer Earth over Heaven any day.-->

Where Love Has Gone

Although its lips did move, I couldn’t hear it speak,
Was busy with thoughts, and their noises were at peak,
Else I would have seen it open the door, and walk out,
The room was empty, of that there was no doubt.

I ran out onto the street, to the fountain square,
Where will I head, I see its footprints everywhere,
Walking in all directions, and walking back again,
They were all over the place, like a monsoon rain.

I walked back into the room, now empty and so closed,
I wondered, was this where I had kept love confined,
Where I expected it to stay, until I gave it away,
And it lay there, knowing it wouldn’t see such a day.

Not even a window, where it could see or be seen,
With my mind as guardian, nobody more mean,
My science, my logic, a door it could never break,
I still wonder, how such a fortress, I could ever make.

And yet today, seeing this room empty, I begin to ponder,
Was it ever there, could I really have captured this wonder,
Did I hide it from all else and itself, behind this open door,
Or did it burst open, because there was too much to store.

Whatever the reason, there is no longer love in my heart,
A place I thought it would stay, till I told it to part,
But who was I to build a dam, to contain this flood,
One that blossomed forth from every new bud.

I try to forget it and move on, but I cannot restrain,
To think, of where love has gone, alone again,
But I know it will be back, oozing from my every pore,
If only I promise, to never again close that door.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--Special Thanks to Harold Robbins for the title. The moment I first saw it I fell in love with the title, I mean, the very thought, how could love go anywhere? Although have never got round the book itself, decided that I would explore that title as a thought one day, and dear Robbins, hear it is, for all that you gave me-->

Me And Myself

I fell into a slumber, the likes of it I never knew,
But was somehow sure I was more awake than I knew,
I was hearing myself definitely snoring aloud,
Yet I was alone in the house, with nobody around.

I was trying to get up, but was stuck in the sleep,
I never knew I could, so far into it creep,
Yet there I was, alive and awake, looking at myself,
Confused, who was me, and who was myself.

I felt the pain tearing through my heart, through my breath,
And I began to think, was this the end, was this death,
That creature that everybody feared, but none had seen,
That comes unheralded, and covers you with its sheen.

In a few moments though, I knew not, because I turned aside,
In my sleep, unmindful of myself, sitting there by the bedside,
Myself began to talk, of my thoughts, their deeds and the results,
The times of agony, anguish, and those incessant insults.

He tried to pry me awake with the fear of its consequence,
I knew not, for I couldn’t feel him, or hear his cadence,
As it lilted on about my days here and redemption,
About how there wasn’t any more hope of salvation.

Until I mended my ways, and walked with him, step by step,
Yet, he wouldn’t let me get up, to begin at the first step,
And thus I didn’t know if he existed at all, was he there?
I looked around, and couldn’t see him anywhere.

He walked away, the moment I got awake,
Yet the trail to him, he never did break,
And I felt compelled to him everywhere,
Though not a word more, he would again share.

He led me by my hand, though he could never hold it,
And took me to the ends of places I could never visit,
Upon his light feet, he carried me into the light,
One that blinded and never needed human sight.

And under it, I saw upon myself, all those marks I had inherited,
Marks of the pain, the sorrows that I had long since inflicted,
Marks that stained the spotless white, of the dress I never wore,
And yet, I was sure, it wasn’t me, that I had seen snore.

It wasn’t me, that had done those deeds and could still smile,
It was an aberration, one whose misdeeds could only stockpile,
And yet, there it was, a life form, alive in its heartbeat,
So much alike, so much of me, it just threw me off my feet.

I knew not when I returned, only that it was over for now,
And I kept asking myself only one thing, “how, how”?
Every single word, I saw me confess, and yet hadn’t spoken,
And yet there it was, all crystal clear and unbroken.

The voice of me, or the voice of myself, I knew not,
It neither commanded, and it surely demanded not,
It lulled me off the heavenly cliff, though slippery and steep,
And back into this world, and its myth called sleep.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--A lyrical version of my experience today morning, when I felt torn apart from myself and watched as I talked to myself. The time came to a standstill as I conversed, and discussed my whole lifetime and its experiences, and watched every scene being shredded apart to reveal the stains behind them. Stains that would never go away, but ones that could have been prevented. I watched as I saw myself turning around, twisting and tossing in my sleep, and was yet talking to myself. An experience that I hope I get to see more often.-->

Cup Of Love

It is gilded not in gems and diamonds, but in its own mirth,
It is begins to fill not in youth, but long before birth,
It is filled every second by an unknown hand,
One that permeates every grain of silken sand.

It fills itself to the brim, and even more,
Yet no one has ever seen it overflow,
The more it is filled, you need it all the more,
Yet it falls back on itself, until you can go slow.

It replenishes itself without any scarcity,
And never manages to ever get empty,
It swirls around itself in merriment,
That it showers on those in detriment.

It glides down your throat, and heads for the heart,
Yet, when you search, and it is found, in every part,
It fills your brain, your mind, yet doesn’t intoxicate,
It oozes its persona, that nobody can ever replicate.

It sweeps you off your feet, and takes you into street,
And makes you utter words, you will never repeat,
It nudges you forward with every new heartbeat,
And picks you up, from your every defeat.

It belongs not to you, nor to the maker,
Yet it quenches the thirst of every partaker,
For the cup of love grows upon its own self,
Every time you share a portion of yourself.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--Inspired by the thoughts of Kahlil Gibran on Love, read it about 7 years back, but still remember the feeling it brought about, although I don't remember a single line. The next one will be about tears, although I have already written one earlier on it (Teardrop), felt that it was too short to describe the whole experience, so have taken a new angle to it.

After that one and another one on my kinda love, I shall move on to an experimental area that was opened to me by Chint2 on his blog. Although I have happened to read a lot of personal poems before, none of them inspired me to even consider writing one, but these were special, they were so intense and involving, that I decided to try some for myself as a tribute to Chint2's trademark, 'personal, involving and relentless'-->

Into Your Life

When its time, to describe your entire life in a day,
And you know, you can’t recall every moment on the way,
Times of joy may never in your memory, for long stay,
Of the times when you cried, you will definitely say.

When you have 24 hours, to describe all your years,
To explain your tears, and their underlying fears,
Do I atleast share a minute in your narration,
Or did I just seem a fantasy of your creation.

Let me be the river that flows into your existence,
Flowing down your throat like the elixir of subsistence,
Washing away the worries that cling to your feet,
Enriching the thirsty ground, wherever we meet.

Let me be the sun that brightens your day,
That warms your soul, all along the way,
There won’t be a place you will miss my ray,
Like your shadow, I shall return as long as you stay.

Let me be the wind that blows into your face,
In your every breath, let me leave my trace,
Soaring with your heart, in an earthly grace,
Without my presence, may you never find a place.

Let me simmer into your life, like the fire,
That burns within you, and your every desire,
Along the path, let me be your candle’s flame,
Through water and wind, burning all the same.

Just let me walk in through your heart’s door,
And you’ll never have the need for anything more,
I may not be God, to stop all your tears,
Atleast I’m human, to cry with you for years.

Let me in as the dew, or the ever-settling dust,
Let me in as anything, that for life is a must,
In the midst of all this chaos, confusion and strife,
Have faith, and just let me, into your life.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--This one is dedicated to my definition of love, which many have defined as 'impractical, unrealistic, and even downright loony', but that doesn't change it from being LOVE-->

Finding You

On a fine summer morning, upon opening my brow,
Find the landscape around me, filled with unseasonal snow,
Amidst the vast expanse of white, a budding blossom of pink,
So startlingly contrastive, that it sets my mind to think.

The snow laden path to you, seems a figment of imagination,
As my crunching footfall sets the pace to the destination,
With the cold morning wind blowing me your assurance,
My hunger for your glimpse quickly gobbles the distance.

Across the horizon, is steadily rising, the morning sun,
A daily reminder of the countless miles I have won,
As the rising mercury spreads its warmth on creation,
My Venus, your memories help maintain my composition.

I seem paralysed watching the time go by,
As mile upon mile nimbly seems to fly,
Continuously in stationary motion, I am not sure why,
As my stamina for you, continues to grow high.

The noon seems to approach way too soon,
Surprisingly, my body doesn’t begin to swoon,
Trudging on for you, like a glass pane bright,
Absorbing the heat, reflecting your faceless light.

At the edge of land, the sand’s all around,
My foot sinks in with each step on ground,
Ahead lies the water, one that knows no bound,
Like the depths of my heart, surely not yet found.

Venturing in, I see the waves reach a standstill,
As if forgetting to blink, awaiting your will,
Deeper inside, the path is rougher than a hill,
Expecting a Messiah, to someday dry it up and till.

The sky opens up, pouring soothingly slow,
There’s water all around, above and below,
Yet I push on, having no other place to go,
Drenched throughout, halfway through the show.

As a speck in the horizon, at last I spot land,
And strange shivers run through, from head to hand,
The whole experience totally bleaching me bland,
Waiting to finally grab a fistful, of sand, dear sand.

Upon firm ground the picture doesn’t change,
Try all I can, my limited thoughts to arrange,
The entire journey somehow seems strange,
With you laughing on, always out of range.

Finally at an end, it all seems only a beginning,
As I try to shake off an unexplainable feeling,
Of having to start it all over once again,
Putting my journey and its travails in vain.

Your presence, then dispels all doubts away,
As I recoup all the energy spent on way,
Hoping you’ll forever, beside me stay,
If only just for a moment, hour or day.

The emotions still left, are pushing through,
Trying to cover, all that I have been through,
Justice enough I deem it, on merely seeing you,
Yet, distance enough I know not, to talk to you.

I find not the strength, to stand by your side,
Having spent it all, traveling the world wide,
Looking to the heart, where you’ll always abide,
Hoping you don’t’ notice me lagging in stride,
To laugh or cry by myself, unable to decide,
Upon finally finding you, all the while inside.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--This one is dedicated to someone who made 1 portion of the 'purpose of my life' complete-->

<--Special thanks to Nisha Ahuja for pointing out that this poem was missing and thus helping me post it, because this one occupies a special corner of my heart-->

Distant Dreams

I open my eyes, and see your gaze upon me,
Beyond those eyes, there’s a lot I can see,
Moments of joy, and those of solitary pain,
Seconds of ecstasy, that were long since lain.

They seek to tell me something, those eyes,
But your lips don’t ever let them get so wise,
They part, as if to utter something from within,
But close unto silence, even before they begin.

I too have those feelings, of wanting to share,
But have always waited for you, so we could pair,
That time may never come, like a distant dream,
Knowing how reluctant we both now seem.

What a fine example of hesitation we both make,
We never speak the feeling, or leave it to break,
And yet everyday, you stare at me, and I back,
To acknowledge to each other, the words we lack.

When it’s time to drift apart, each to our way,
There will still be so much that’s left to say,
But like our dreams, you’ll keep it to yourself,
And mine shall be left, all to myself.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--Thanks to Divya for the idea, like I told her, this is my take from the other person's shoes-->

<--Original post can be found at the link below-->

I Tell You In My Dreams

Pray For Me Brother

You have always been busy, with your everyday life,
To earn and provide, for your children and wife,
To go up the ladder, whence you can provide even more,
But how much do you need, how much can you store.

When your plate and belly are full, what more can you eat,
When clothed for today and tomorrow, what more will you wear,
When sheltered from the elements, the rain and the heat,
How much more space do you think is really fair.

Throw that extra food down the drain, you paid for it,
Atleast the next time, think of how much I needed it,
Build yourself that palace of your dreams, that apartment,
Atleast some day, think of me on the adjoining pavement.

Buy yourself those coats of mink and many a fancy trinket,
Atleast remember, I could always do with even a torn blanket,
Break all your belongings in fits of anger and depression,
Atleast remember, I never even had such a possession.

Never mind if you just cannot spare or even share,
Mine is a sorrow somebody always has to bear,
Just happened to be me for today,
There were always others, and always will be, everyday.

I ask not for your savings, I ask not for your pension,
All I ask for is awareness, and a little bit of attention,
All that I wish is that you know, that there’s someone like me,
And then its your choice, to decide how to let things be.

Your effort can make a difference, even if only to one,
Yet all I ask is a prayer, for you, me and everyone,
That this message reaches someone who would really care,
Someone with a heart, an extra pair and a desire to share.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--Thanks to A.R.Rahman for the inspiration and Blaaze for the Title

Hope people listen to the song "Pray For Me Brother". Its Really awesome-->

Let His Will Prevail

All that I asked for, was a bit of encouragement,
And all that the world gave was, pure discouragement,
That I may realize God, I asked fervently for wisdom,
But was instead shown the world, God's own kingdom.

To conquer the world, I asked for boundless might,
My thoughts were effortlessly subdued, by the world's plight,
To express my limitless thoughts, I asked for feelings,
I was given a complex life to understand its meaning.

To merge in Him, I asked guidance from the Divine Light,
But was instead directed towards the darkest night,
All that I yearned for, He did effortlessly refuse,
So that He could fill me, with His Love so profuse.

I asked for devotion, so that I could realize Him,
I was bluntly told, that my chances were grim,
I asked God, for all that was needed by me,
I was instead conferred with all that was deserved by me.

- GUPTA GHOST

Inspired by the poem "A Creed For Those Who Have Suffered?" Author Unknown

Searching For You

Like a forgotten native traversing the desert,
I carry on with no choice, though my feet hurt,
Try as much as I can, my thoughts to divert,
From inevitably returning to you, I cannot avert.

I walk on though I know not, how long the night,
Just hoping I’ll reach the end before it’s daylight,
A look above shows, the future is not bright,
Thinking of you, I just hope my direction is right.

For, however long I walk, you’re still out of sight,
As the winds blow, I clasp my last bit of faith tight,
Day by fiercer day, I live by the wind of the night,
A wind that soothes my worries, making me light.

Where can I find you, the solace of my heart’s desire,
For no wind of any might can put out this fire,
Wherever I go, I hear only talk of your fame,
But am so exhausted, I can no longer call out your name.

The day passes soon, giving way to a drenching rain,
I look out for you, only to see the pelting rain again,
People around me quickly run for the nearest cover,
I stand there alone, waiting for you, facing its power.

The rain endlessly pours down, as I stand under,
Facing its quenching water and burning thunder,
Asking myself just where did I blunder,
To be separated from you, my wonder.

I realize it is morning, by seeing the mist descending,
But my relentless footsteps keep the dust ascending,
And I stand confused, whether it’s the mist or dust I’m depending,
For mine is a task that seems to have no ending.

I suddenly feel I have turned over a new page,
For with a strong urge to turn back, I reach this stage,
My mind blames it all on the effect of my age,
But try as I might, I am still a prisoner in your cage.

I continue looking for you, soaring like a kite in the sky,
Not sure, whether you own me, or I own you, the sky,
When a gust of wind, snaps apart my confidence thread,
I continue unsupported, not knowing the direction I head.

The waves part, as I look for you in the deep sea,
But however deep I look, there is only water I see,
The clouds part, as I look for you in the new moon,
But I see no evidence to tell me you are due soon.

Patiently I wait, looking for you in the mid-noon,
But the brightness of the sun, only sends me into a swoon,
Hastily I decide to settle down on my own,
But repentantly wait to see you in the seeds I have sown.

At their own pace, the plants have gradually grown,
To my futile effort, no trace of you they have ever shown,
I try to take my mind off it, by watching their buds bloom,
But I see only your face, that brings back my gloom.

I curse myself for trying to needlessly believe,
That forever my side, you will never leave,
All my charm has waned itself into a frown,
But there is no depth at which I can drown.

To see me in this state, though you aren’t there,
To console me for my life, your captivating smile is here,
Seeing it on your embossed face, I burst into ecstasy,
As though awaiting for long, an unfulfilled prophecy.

I have lost count of those endless nights and days,
That I battled with myself in innumerable days,
Convincing and cajoling myself to start again, anew,
For, till my last breath, I shall be searching for you.

- GUPTA GHOST


<--Dedicated to Aparna Reddy, whose innocent face and endearing smile made this possible, may she have that smile forever, lighting up many more lives with one of the joys of creation-->

In The Name Of God

To many people, life seems great, in the ‘Paradise on Earth’,
Of nature, beauty and transcendence, there is no dearth,
Only shortage of Peace, Love and Happiness,
As we live each day in fear of unexpected loneliness.

Our children wake up, not to the song of the cuckoo, but gunfire,
They make their way to school, the path paved with blood and barbed wire,
They grew up, not by reading about squares, triangles and spheres,
But by attending daily, the funeral of ones near and dear.

We live on, not for survival, an unreliable, long-forgotten word,
But for mending each others spirits towards a promising new world,
The scars have remained, like the echo of gunshots in the valley,
Behind closed doors, as each day we pray, for a lesser death tally.

As each year passes between snowfall and sunrise,
People don’t change and none the better for the wise,
Even God who knows no hate, would surely despise,
People, who in the name of God, innocents terrorize.

- GUPTA GHOST

This poem was inspired by the video of a song in
the first Indian movie to be listed in the UK Top Ten.