Addictive Joy

It’s been years, since I saw that smile again,
Though only an image, I still cannot restrain,
From wondering, how little has actually changed,
About the feelings, that your smile engaged.

Though in the mind, the vision is always there,
The eyes aren’t satisfied, with an image back somewhere,
They are starving to see it, with their own eyes,
And that still tells me, how slowly our time flies.

To them, you are the raindrop, that broke away,
From the cloud, to quench them, falling this way,
Within them, forever they wish, you would stay,
The mind, it’s jealous, it always makes them stray.

I have never seen it, ever leaving your face,
And never want to, even if only a passing phase,
And each time, the twinkle it leaves in your eye,
That’s just enough, to bid all agonies goodbye.

Seeing it, my overcome tears, always run back,
And a reluctant sorrow, turns its stubborn back,
My mind has only, to hear that laughter’s tinkle,
And it irons out, my every frown’s wrinkle.

Were times I wished, I could touch your laughter,
Feel it and hold it, for now and ever after,
Hold it before my thirsty eyes, and just stare,
Till the moment I have, not a breath to spare.

Felt content, watching those pearls, drop from your lips,
And when I tried, to hold them by my fingertips,
They just dissolved, melting themselves into me,
Flowing in like a joy, the happiest I could ever be.

Try as much, I can’t and don’t, want to let go,
And therefore keep being swept away, by its flow,
For those who feel, life has more sorrow than joy,
They have not yet tasted your smile, and its addictive joy.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--After more than two years, yesterday, I saw a photo of Aparna Reddy(Reddy no longer) on her Orkut profile, and checked out her blog. The first wave of nostalgia hit me, the moment I saw that photo, that smile it could still captivate, not that I doubted it for a moment, but the very idea being proved to my eyes still spellbound me enough to write about it, and those days when I used to submit the exam paper in 1 hour to sit and stare at her for 2 hours, and write "Searching For You" while at it.Still can't guess what game God was trying to play on me, by making such a smile, and showing it to me for two years and then keeping it etched on my memory, trying to have fun, seeing me wrestling with it.

Immediately I felt I had to write my feeling, I had to record this nostalgia. I couldn't sleep for the whole night yesterday, fighting with myself to finish the poem first and then sleep, but ultimately my laziness won. Not for long, today morning, the moment I woke up, the feeling started tormenting me again, and so I decide not to push my luck anymore and got down to this. Wish I could spend all my days just looking at her smiling, would make me prefer Earth over Heaven any day.-->

Castaway

From those pictures of us, you may throw me away,
I care not, because I am more than a mere photo.
From those letters of ours, you may tear me away,
I care not, because I am more than mere words.

From those mementos of ours, you may break me away,
I care not, because I am more than mere clay,
From the reflection in your eyes, you may wash me away,
I care not, because I am more than a tear.

From the times of laughter, you may frown me away,
I care not, because I am more than mere joy,
From the shackles of our bond, you may break away,
I care not, because I am more than an emotion.

From the depth of your heart, you may cast me away,
I care not, because I aren’t going anywhere,
How far away you threw, you have no clue,
For, I am you, around and within you.

- GUPTA GHOST

Into Your Life

When its time, to describe your entire life in a day,
And you know, you can’t recall every moment on the way,
Times of joy may never in your memory, for long stay,
Of the times when you cried, you will definitely say.

When you have 24 hours, to describe all your years,
To explain your tears, and their underlying fears,
Do I atleast share a minute in your narration,
Or did I just seem a fantasy of your creation.

Let me be the river that flows into your existence,
Flowing down your throat like the elixir of subsistence,
Washing away the worries that cling to your feet,
Enriching the thirsty ground, wherever we meet.

Let me be the sun that brightens your day,
That warms your soul, all along the way,
There won’t be a place you will miss my ray,
Like your shadow, I shall return as long as you stay.

Let me be the wind that blows into your face,
In your every breath, let me leave my trace,
Soaring with your heart, in an earthly grace,
Without my presence, may you never find a place.

Let me simmer into your life, like the fire,
That burns within you, and your every desire,
Along the path, let me be your candle’s flame,
Through water and wind, burning all the same.

Just let me walk in through your heart’s door,
And you’ll never have the need for anything more,
I may not be God, to stop all your tears,
Atleast I’m human, to cry with you for years.

Let me in as the dew, or the ever-settling dust,
Let me in as anything, that for life is a must,
In the midst of all this chaos, confusion and strife,
Have faith, and just let me, into your life.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--This one is dedicated to my definition of love, which many have defined as 'impractical, unrealistic, and even downright loony', but that doesn't change it from being LOVE-->

Finding You

On a fine summer morning, upon opening my brow,
Find the landscape around me, filled with unseasonal snow,
Amidst the vast expanse of white, a budding blossom of pink,
So startlingly contrastive, that it sets my mind to think.

The snow laden path to you, seems a figment of imagination,
As my crunching footfall sets the pace to the destination,
With the cold morning wind blowing me your assurance,
My hunger for your glimpse quickly gobbles the distance.

Across the horizon, is steadily rising, the morning sun,
A daily reminder of the countless miles I have won,
As the rising mercury spreads its warmth on creation,
My Venus, your memories help maintain my composition.

I seem paralysed watching the time go by,
As mile upon mile nimbly seems to fly,
Continuously in stationary motion, I am not sure why,
As my stamina for you, continues to grow high.

The noon seems to approach way too soon,
Surprisingly, my body doesn’t begin to swoon,
Trudging on for you, like a glass pane bright,
Absorbing the heat, reflecting your faceless light.

At the edge of land, the sand’s all around,
My foot sinks in with each step on ground,
Ahead lies the water, one that knows no bound,
Like the depths of my heart, surely not yet found.

Venturing in, I see the waves reach a standstill,
As if forgetting to blink, awaiting your will,
Deeper inside, the path is rougher than a hill,
Expecting a Messiah, to someday dry it up and till.

The sky opens up, pouring soothingly slow,
There’s water all around, above and below,
Yet I push on, having no other place to go,
Drenched throughout, halfway through the show.

As a speck in the horizon, at last I spot land,
And strange shivers run through, from head to hand,
The whole experience totally bleaching me bland,
Waiting to finally grab a fistful, of sand, dear sand.

Upon firm ground the picture doesn’t change,
Try all I can, my limited thoughts to arrange,
The entire journey somehow seems strange,
With you laughing on, always out of range.

Finally at an end, it all seems only a beginning,
As I try to shake off an unexplainable feeling,
Of having to start it all over once again,
Putting my journey and its travails in vain.

Your presence, then dispels all doubts away,
As I recoup all the energy spent on way,
Hoping you’ll forever, beside me stay,
If only just for a moment, hour or day.

The emotions still left, are pushing through,
Trying to cover, all that I have been through,
Justice enough I deem it, on merely seeing you,
Yet, distance enough I know not, to talk to you.

I find not the strength, to stand by your side,
Having spent it all, traveling the world wide,
Looking to the heart, where you’ll always abide,
Hoping you don’t’ notice me lagging in stride,
To laugh or cry by myself, unable to decide,
Upon finally finding you, all the while inside.

- GUPTA GHOST

<--This one is dedicated to someone who made 1 portion of the 'purpose of my life' complete-->

<--Special thanks to Nisha Ahuja for pointing out that this poem was missing and thus helping me post it, because this one occupies a special corner of my heart-->

Waking Up

Just the two of us, walk up to the edge of the lawn,
Waiting for the sun, to break out from the dawn,
To pry apart from our feet, the morning dew,
And witness the buds begin blossoming anew.

Walking down the path, holding your hand,
Weak in the knees, I cannot anymore stand,
Yet managing to hold on, as you stare into my eyes,
And we start drifting, through the blushing skies.

To ask you to slow down, is surely no crime,
As I try to catch up, with the fleeting time,
That refused to stop as you swirled in my arms,
Freezing me cold with the spell of your charms.

Yet despite the direction your memory tries to blow,
We are separated forever by a tiny little window,
Through which the sun’s rays begin to gleam,
Waking me up from this never-ending dream.

- GUPTA GHOST

Flowing Away

I still cant remember when they began,

Or for how long and far they just ran,
It seemed only yesterday that they had a cause,
But even while it withered, they never had to pause.

They flow into the cracks of your every burden,
And wash them away before they can harden,
Although it has been quite a long while,
They still spread themselves across your smile.

For the times when you totally lost control,
Upon you like raindrops during an evening stroll,
For the times when the days were dark,
All around you like a sprinkler in the park.

Yet all through life, you can never feel,
Although they drench you from head to heel,
Despite discreetly being able to hold their sway,
Those were my tears, beginning to flow away.

- GUPTA GHOST

You And Me

In whichever distant land, you let your feet fall,
Dearest, just look at the sky and give me a call,
Your voice floats like the breeze of spring over brook and dale,
And merges just as seamlessly into the air I inhale.

By the brilliance of the sun, you become distant too soon,
I await the night, to see your face in the moon,
The fragrance of flowers amidst the rustle of leaves,
Subdues the silent tempest in which my heart grieves.

People say that yours is a journey of no return,
Notwithstanding, my heart from your direction will never turn,
A lamp of light burns the oil that feeds it, to flame,
Just as I await your verdict, the result of this endless game.

Across the woods, into the horizon afar I gaze,
Tears rolling down, as the sky turns a purple haze,
I close my eyes longing for the morning anew,
A morning that will rejoin me and you.

- GUPTA GHOST

Song Of The Sky

O dearest love, wherever you are, just let me hear your voice,
The music in your words gladden me more than I can rejoice,
I live before you, behind you in this despairing conundrum,
My only companion, your song, that I tirelessly hum.

Though you aren’t, your ever-smiling face is here,
It keeps following me to eternity like my shadow near,
Looking into your mesmerizing face makes me forget,
All the sorrow, that everyday lives seem to beget.

The day prolongs not for the star-studded night,
The night lives on in the shadow of the morning light,
The solemn glow in your eyes, sends my watery heart into ripples,
As night by day, day by night, my yearning never stifles.

Go wherever you wish, my celestial song shall follow,
It shall echo and reverberate in your heart’s hollow,
But never bother to ask yourself the question why,
Because mine is the eternal song of the sky.

- GUPTA GHOST

Searching For You

Like a forgotten native traversing the desert,
I carry on with no choice, though my feet hurt,
Try as much as I can, my thoughts to divert,
From inevitably returning to you, I cannot avert.

I walk on though I know not, how long the night,
Just hoping I’ll reach the end before it’s daylight,
A look above shows, the future is not bright,
Thinking of you, I just hope my direction is right.

For, however long I walk, you’re still out of sight,
As the winds blow, I clasp my last bit of faith tight,
Day by fiercer day, I live by the wind of the night,
A wind that soothes my worries, making me light.

Where can I find you, the solace of my heart’s desire,
For no wind of any might can put out this fire,
Wherever I go, I hear only talk of your fame,
But am so exhausted, I can no longer call out your name.

The day passes soon, giving way to a drenching rain,
I look out for you, only to see the pelting rain again,
People around me quickly run for the nearest cover,
I stand there alone, waiting for you, facing its power.

The rain endlessly pours down, as I stand under,
Facing its quenching water and burning thunder,
Asking myself just where did I blunder,
To be separated from you, my wonder.

I realize it is morning, by seeing the mist descending,
But my relentless footsteps keep the dust ascending,
And I stand confused, whether it’s the mist or dust I’m depending,
For mine is a task that seems to have no ending.

I suddenly feel I have turned over a new page,
For with a strong urge to turn back, I reach this stage,
My mind blames it all on the effect of my age,
But try as I might, I am still a prisoner in your cage.

I continue looking for you, soaring like a kite in the sky,
Not sure, whether you own me, or I own you, the sky,
When a gust of wind, snaps apart my confidence thread,
I continue unsupported, not knowing the direction I head.

The waves part, as I look for you in the deep sea,
But however deep I look, there is only water I see,
The clouds part, as I look for you in the new moon,
But I see no evidence to tell me you are due soon.

Patiently I wait, looking for you in the mid-noon,
But the brightness of the sun, only sends me into a swoon,
Hastily I decide to settle down on my own,
But repentantly wait to see you in the seeds I have sown.

At their own pace, the plants have gradually grown,
To my futile effort, no trace of you they have ever shown,
I try to take my mind off it, by watching their buds bloom,
But I see only your face, that brings back my gloom.

I curse myself for trying to needlessly believe,
That forever my side, you will never leave,
All my charm has waned itself into a frown,
But there is no depth at which I can drown.

To see me in this state, though you aren’t there,
To console me for my life, your captivating smile is here,
Seeing it on your embossed face, I burst into ecstasy,
As though awaiting for long, an unfulfilled prophecy.

I have lost count of those endless nights and days,
That I battled with myself in innumerable days,
Convincing and cajoling myself to start again, anew,
For, till my last breath, I shall be searching for you.

- GUPTA GHOST


<--Dedicated to Aparna Reddy, whose innocent face and endearing smile made this possible, may she have that smile forever, lighting up many more lives with one of the joys of creation-->

My Second Life

Your eyes look bejeweled like a Greek,
I would die for their attention to seek,
Though you may look soft-hearted and meek,
Underneath lies a character as hard as teak.

One look at those rare, poignant tears,
And waves will be lashing backwards at themselves,
Just one time if your silken voice one hears,
It’s enough to push all the voice-records off the shelves.

You possess a face, so wordlessly exquisite,
That beings from the Heaven are dying to visit,
Tapering down like the Andes mountain is your nose,
Comparing myself with you, is like the thorn with the rose.

As near to you, I can only see your matchless face,
But far from you, I can let my dreams run riot like a knife,
Like an iceberg, I fear I will one day melt at your gaze,
For, your face, it needs no telling, is my second life.

- GUPTA GHOST

Morning Light

Mighty oaks come alive at dawn, their reflection in water glistening,
Fresh dewdrops in the rising sun’s rays, stare out at you glowing,
As I rise up each morning, the chattering birds eagerly listening,
I am spellbound by the beauty of morning light that is mind-blowing.

I await you like the morning daisy flower, wilting by the hour,
Even as the wind erodes the sand, upon which I steadily stand,
I reach out for you, like the evaporating morning dew,
The charisma in your face, shall remain the enigma in my brace.

I can never love another person anew,
Until I hear your voice, that’s well nigh overdue,
Your absence for a moment, has dried me like the desert,
Yet I tarry on, till my position you gently assert.

With dissenting minds and commenting mouths I fight,
With the only fear that I may in diversion forget,
How beautiful, how wonderful, you day by day get,
Like the first ray that strikes earth, from the morning light.

- GUPTA GHOST

Killing Me Softly

Long before this feeling, long before this emotion,
When the magic was yet to be set in motion,
The first glance at you wasn’t love or devotion,
A distant gaze, far away like the endless ocean.

One of utter, nonchalance was my first look,
Unbending, and unminding in your direction to look,
Your existence seemed as forgotten as air,
With no concern of how amiably you fare.

Looking around, scouring for more worthy prospects,
Everywhere I looked, there seemed greater defects,
That my eyes were tricking me, I was convinced,
However my mind all the while never winced.

When it happened, it all seemed a mishap,
As I stumbled upon my own lowly trap,
Confused at the direction the wheel turns,
Leaving behind marks, and a few deep burns.

Hovering around, my eyes rested back on you,
Surprisingly they seemed rewashed and new,
Walking past the other faces like morning dew,
I finally reach your sight, long overdue.

I keep trying in my own small humble way,
To make you smile more, each new day,
Spreading your joy in waves across the room,
It seems the world knows neither doom or gloom.

To see the aura, and the glint in your eyes,
I committed deeds the world wouldn’t deem wise,
To make you joyous, there was no better way,
Even if in the process, I had to greatly pay.

The medals lost, the prizes sacrificed, seem nothing,
Compared to the smile on your face they bring,
My swelling pride upon seeing you thereby win,
Says, for your sake, failure is no sin.

I realize, I have all the while been swirling within,
Feelings begin to arise and subside, out and in,
Much akin to teaching a fish to rightly swim,
I linger around, trying to satisfy your arising whim.

Emblazing my every moment of life, thought and mind,
You play across every second, with no chance of rewind,
I project myself, my abilities and sheer dint,
Yet as I walk, I leave behind only your footprint.

Try as much as I can, I can no longer deny it,
The image of being forlorn, somehow doesn’t fit,
With the fragrance of romance, I’ve surely been hit,
Groping on all sides, for an outlet to this embracing pit.

I wish I could be convinced that this wasn’t true,
That love had no hue, and the sky wasn’t blue,
The truth strikes me as being bitterly pleasant,
The idyllic life, of love and the hillside peasant.

A life of great expectations, without any care,
Where every man, soars where no angels dare,
Where reality and fiction never seem laid bare,
And acceptance and rejection are too big to bear.

I wish I hadn’t got in at the first place,
Unable to bear its twists, and the searing pace,
To swim the tide costs all my reputation and face,
To walk out pulls my heart strings, setting them ablaze.

Cursing the cupid doesn’t bring back the times,
When your heart was measured in penny and dimes,
The lure of the happiness that drew me inside,
Seems to be dissipating too much far and wide.

No longer untouched by love’s staple wear and tear,
There were always times when you just didn’t care,
Looking into your eyes, beyond that glassy stare,
I find not, the least glimmer of the bond we share.

To see you each day look to me with growing hatred,
No trace of compassion, or tears ever shed,
The only emotion I found, was one of a loathing pity,
For, to you, I was just somebody, a non-entity.

A somebody, who in you daily life interfered,
A somebody you wished, long ago had disappeared,
Though no trace of this in your eyes have you shown,
That it exists, from you demeanor I have known.

Despite the hatred, despite the endless pain,
I was a somebody, who could never abstain,
To work untiringly, if just to see you gain,
Regardless of the recurring pain, again and again.

To hang around when you seemed very desolate,
Trying all I could, yet never being so desperate,
The waters of failure, washing down the feet of fate,
I just tarry to ponder, on how I reached this state.

Up against the crest, I try to stem the tide,
However, I have destiny, my master to abide,
Caught up in its fury, is my tattered fishing net,
No amount of repair, can it safely to the shore get.

Remember that in this candle, we are the flame and wick,
Burning each other, through every thin and thick,
Discard me, disown me, it will bring no change,
Without the wick, your flame will always seem strange.

All the while, I have never tried to approach you,
For the sole reason of letting you, be only you,
For the fear of seeing on your angelic face, a frown,
So, always maintain that smile, through life’s up and down.

I only hope this experience will allow me to be,
Since in my direction you shall never see,
Curse me, hurt me, abandon me to your visionary hell,
I shall still follow you, always you guardian angel.

You have never talked to me and mostly never will,
But never forget that I shall love you still,
Throughout your life and mine, I shall love you gently,
Even though, every second, you are KILLING ME SOFTLY.

- GUPTA GHOST

In Your Eyes

At first sight, they looked like an eclipse over a bright sun,
In an unchallenged manner, the championship of my heart they won,
They subside like a heap of rubble when you are sad,
And bloat up like a new bubble when you are glad.

They are down and glum when you unusually fret,
And attain an expression I cannot in Heaven interpret,
When you stare at me, the Earth feels light, like standing on a petal,
When you blink, the sky feels heavy, pressing onto my head like a pedal.

They question me in a morose manner when you brood,
And assume expressions as broad as your minute mood,
Looking into them, I can easily see when you are good,
As they look like the fragrance of freshly cut sandalwood.

I can surely tell, when you are, or not in a dream,
As your thoughts flow through them like a stream,
They show your emotions, in a range from steam to ice,
I can see whole new world opening in your eyes.

- GUPTA GHOST

Eternally Mine

It has been a long time since the fires have died down,
But their warmth hasn’t still let me down,
Shivering in this cold, I still remember seeing you the last time,
The day when my heart inexplicably missed its rhyme.

Yet you glide into my dreams, and wake me in the night,
I look around and see you and I don’t in the dim moonlight,
It is soon morning, and I look at more than one shadow,
And I know, with me forever you shall follow.

I refresh myself and look into the mirror,
Seeing your face, I know there is no error,
I look up and find the blue sky parting,
And your twinkling face, an unanswered question asking.

I look down, onto the plate on which I dine,
And find you staring, like a moon that has no decline,
I smile to myself as I realize this is no miracle Divine,
Since you were pledged to be eternally mine.

- GUPTA GHOST